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People who make the effort to communicate with you about something they deem important deserve a thoughtful response.  If they went to the trouble of either writing it or saying it, it has significance to them.  Here’s an example. 

I recently purchased a mattress, something I don’t do as often as the manufacturers would like.  I went to a major franchise.  The in-store experience was great.  The purchase was easy and expedient.  And then came scheduling the delivery.  I received a formulaic and somewhat strident message so inconsistent with what I believed about the company that it took me by surprise.  It was unfriendly, uncompromising, and uncooperative — addressing me as though I were likely to cause problems and telling me what amount I would be charged if I did.  Wow.  Because I had to resolve a delivery date conflict, I called the number provided.  The issue was managed by a competent voice eager to ensure my satisfaction.  Still, the tone of the initial message was disconcerting enough to me to write a letter to the head of the company, explaining how that one communication interrupted all the fine aspects of her brand and the effect it had on me.  I heard nothing in return.  No call, no letter, no e-mail.  Next time I buy a mattress, probably 100 years from now, I’ll weigh my options.  They lost me by failing to respond.  Maybe a big company can afford that.  Most of us can’t. 

Perhaps it has happened to you, if you’re one who take things to heart and works for resolution, or at the very least, expression.  If you receive a positive response in return, it’s a gift.  If you don’t, it can feel like an insult.

I am often asked how a business should determine best response, especially if the customer is angry.  My suggestion is that you first consider what you want to have happen in conclusion.  I call it “thinking backwards.”  Envision best case scenarios and shape your words accordingly.  Do you want to keep the customer?  Is it important to encourage a specific action?  Are there pieces of information you need?  Could a simple “thank you for your feedback” move both parties closer to goals? 

Not every message needs a response, of course.  But the ones sent in earnest deserve our attention.  It’s good PR and good customer service.  The favor of a reply is requested.  And appreciated.

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Fact is, I’ve never found impressing people with fancy terms very helpful.  And I sometimes surprise clients by suggesting they remove some of their favorite high falutin language from their public communications as well.   Sometimes we get so caught up in “sounding professional” or “positioning for influence” that our words are off-putting, having the opposite effect from what we want most.  I’ve seen well-educated (and reasonably sane)  people grind their teeth in an effort to say it right.  I tell them they’re tripping over the myth of perfection and suggest they think about someone they love dearly — their grandmother, their dog, their spouse — and simply talk to that person.  (Dogs are people.)  Then write it down.  When we get real, the words come much easier.  And readers respond to our warmth and sincerity instead of to our infinite wisdom.

I pass this along for a number of maladies, from writer’s block to unrelieved academia.  Works for me.

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Even though I was hardly moving, the impact jolted their car.  I gasped and remember my hands flying to my face in the classic expression of surprise and dread.  What had I done?  What if they’re hurt?  How could I have been so careless?  What was the matter with me?  After checking on his family, the man managed to get out (drive-through; tight squeeze) and walk around to check his trailer.  He glanced at me and I mouthed, “I’m so sorry” and expected him to engage me in conversation as soon as we could manage.  Instead, he got back in his car, proceeded to pick up his order, and then slowly drove forward and around the corner.   I fumbled for my insurance paperwork and tried not to cry with frustration at my carelessness.  I paused at the window of my favorite coffee place, where I can always count on a friendly face.  I wasn’t disappointed.  She smiled and said, “The driver ahead of you paid for your coffee.” 

First I gasped.  And then I sobbed.  When I turned the corner, he was nowhere to be seen, having driven off to take care of whatever he and his family were about that day.

This event stirs me on so many levels.  First, his kindness.  He had no idea that I had just experienced my mom failing to recognize me.  He simply choose to be generous when he could have been outraged.

Second, I was overcome with gratitude for what he was teaching his kids.  All of us see parents being unnecessarily strident or inappropriate in front of their children and frankly, sometimes I wonder what kind of chance those kids have to grow up and be any different.  This man was Sesame-Street-Worthy. 

Third, I was impressed with his wife who allowed the event to happen as it did without, as far as I could see, challenging his decision or even considering the event anything other than a tiny mishap.

Last, I discovered a new depth of gratitude for good people doing good things.  The pass-it-on kind of deed that deserves a like action.  It has been my pleasure to find little ways to pay-it-forward this year. 

That is my Christmas story.  It changed my life. 

I wish you a glorious holiday and a new year filled with blessings.

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You can’t fake it.  Everything about your work — and you — has to align with the integrity, ethical decision-making and, well, kindness that people appreciate.  I never think in terms of selling.  I help my clients offer solutions, hope, joy, or possibility.  That’s true whether my treasured client is a funeral home or a freight company.  We know who we’re talking with, what they want, and how we can make their life better.  We talk to their hearts with our hearts. 

Let me give you an example.  One of my favorite clients is a hospice organization.  It’s tough to develop concepts and message strategies for people with terminal illness.  There’s no excuse for glossing over the circumstance.  So we address it, with messages like:  Not everything can be fixed; Home Hospice offers comfort and care.   The visual is a beautiful butterfly with a torn wing. 

I bring the same thoughtful attention to a leading financial advisor.  By carefully defining who, exactly, we’re talking to, we can communicate  — with the right message in the right way at the right time.  In this case, the words chosen for a senior adult with inadequate savings to realize his/her dreams is much different than the messages created for the 30-something couple planning for their child’s college.  So it’s not about one-size-fits-all financial tips.  It’s about caring enough to take the time and expend the resources to reach people in meaningful ways.

That’s my magic wand.  Hard work.  An intuitive knowledge about people.  Watching for what makes a person’s heart sing.  Delivering stunning results.  That’s when I know we’ve been successful — when we’ve touched someone and made life better. 

Let me know what works for you.

Margie

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